THE PEACOCK

The peacock

 

I thought that I had written about the peacock before, but I found no mention of it in my previous blogs – so here it is.

When I was a kid we lived on a small “hobby farm”.  It was my dad’s hobby, but I did all the shitty work.  We had many “exotic” animals, amongst them was a peacock and his mate, a peahen.  The peacock was a blue iridescent color with many paisley designs in his feathers.  He would often spread his tail feathers and admire himself.

  Once, when I was showing a high school friend the peacocks, I happened to notice that when his tail feathers were fanned out, his rectum tended to turn wrong side out and protrude about an inch and a half.  What would any 16-year-old kid do?  If you said that a normal person would just walk away, you must realize that I am NOT a normal person.  I snuck up behind the peacock and stuck my forefinger straight up his rectum.  I guess I had not thought through what the peacock’s reaction would be.

  The peacock let out a loud squawk and leaped about 10 feet.  A peacock is mostly feathers so leaping that far was an easy feat.  He hit the ground running.  I was scared that he would escape his pen, so I started to run after him.  My buddy joined the chase.  You have no idea how fast a peacock can run and then fly.  The chase was hopeless, but the peacock kept on running.  My buddy wisely left me to my fate.

  I wisely made no mention of the “poking affair” to my dad or mom.  Problem is the peacock told them.  It was raining like the devil and the peacock was back in the small woods behind the house.  He started to call for his mate and my mom heard him.  She went looking for him and found him on a tree limb about 6 feet off the ground.  He was soaked and could not fly.  Mom got a small step stool and was able to grab the peacock’s leg.  Then they both fell to the ground.  Mom brought him back to the house and threw him into the coop. She was as mad as a wet hen, just the same as the peacock.

  I won’t go into the tale of the punishment I received.  Let’s just say it was a lesson well learned.  A short time later dad got rid of the peacock.  I have never poked a peacock in the ass since then.