I have realized there is a whole new “group” out there that
is being victimized and discriminated against by circumstances beyond its
control. That group is the male
homo-sapiens sperm. Consider that the
female homo-sapiens releases one unfertilized egg per month. The female has two fallopian tubes and that
egg is released down alternate tubes each month. Now the male sperm travels down BOTH of those
tubes on its search for the egg. Alas, the many thousands of sperm that travel
down the empty tube do not find an egg and are merciless condemned to an
unfulfilled end. There also exists a
problem with the sperm that goes down the “right” track. Only one of these many thousands of sperm
gets to interact with the egg. The
others are left standing alone like many wallflowers at a high school dance. Corrective action must be taken!!!!!
The answer lays, of course, in government intervention and
new regulations concerning the discrimination leveled against the sperm. There are several alternative solutions, the
first of which would be to mandate that the female release one egg down each
fallopian tube each month. This would
give all the sperm an equal “fighting” chance.
The second alternative would be to mandate that the female have more
than one uterus. (Would that be uteri as
in octopi, the plural of octopus?) As
in all government mandates and regulations there would be spare parts involved
to assure redundancy in the operation system.
If only one uterus were provided, a switching mechanism would be
required. The biology of such a system
would require an elaborate switching system. This part of the mandate will be
left up to a “FAIRNESS TO SPERM” (FTS) committee to design.
The last and most logical system (from a government
standpoint) would be to have two uteri for each fallopian tube. This system would be known as “A PAIR AND A
SPARE” (APAAS). Exactly how this would
work and what results would occur are not known but after all, “We have to pass
the bill before we know what is in it”. In
my next essay I shall deal with the many thousands of sperm that are left out
and discriminated against during the fertilization process. I remain, with tongue firmly in cheek, Dal
