Friday, April 24, 2020

Domino ideas

Even though life has been a little slow I have been busy playing a lot of dominos and have come up with several ideas.  The dominos are cast from a ceramic type plastic.  It would be easy to imbed a material that could be activated by a pencil sized laser.  The laser would light up all the doubles.  That way you would have to inspect an average of 6 tiles instead of 45..  The deluxe model would advance the number by one and the correct domino would be highlighted with one flash. This is actually a good idea and would involve "off the shelf" parts and a very minimum in investment to imbed the material into the tile
The next idea would involve the mixing of the dominos after round is finished.  My idea would be to have the tiles pushed into a tilted chute.  They would land on a tilted circular platform that would be activated by a hand crank.  The platform would have a square hole on the periphery 1/8 " larger than the length of an individual tile. This would assure that only one tile would fall through at a time.  A light sensor would key in on the individual tiles and flip each so that the tile  would be oriented with the numbers down.  The tiles would then slide down another funnel shaped chute.  There would be two very thin wires located 6" inch apart along the length of the chute.  this would further distribute the "mix" and orientation of the tiles. (much like a pin ball machine)   The tiles would end on a very slow moving conveyor that would pass in front of each player.  A counter would keep track of each tile removed from the belt.  After 15 tiles had been removed by each player  the conveyor would stop and a thin playing surface would emerge from the opposite direction of the converse movement of the belt.  I have yet to figure out how to construct such a machine smaller than a 30 gallon drum.
It is ideas such as this last one that forced G.E. to get out of the motor business.. 

Tuesday, April 21, 2020

A dream


It is said that dreams only last a fraction of a second and that you cannot dream in color.  I cannot argue with the first part of that statement, but I defiantly dream in color.  Consider the following tableaux:  A knight in full shining chain mail armor is kneeling before the queen.  His head is bowed in submission.  At each side of the knight stands a ceremonial guard core.  They are dressed in “Swiss guard” style uniforms complete with colorful blue and yellow pantaloons.  Each guard is wearing a gold colored fireman style helmet. They all are standing at attention and each is armed with an 8-foot spear.
The queen is sitting on a majestic gold throne dressed in an off-white gown decorated with gold sequins and wearing the crown that signifies her as the head of state.  The court jester is sitting silently cross legged off to one side.
The queen slowly arises from her throne and takes two steps forward towards the knight to-be.  She extends her arm, turns her palm down and quietly states, “pull my finger”.

Monday, April 13, 2020

The new toilet


This story begins with Connie’s decision to have new vinyl plank flooring installed in one of the bathrooms.  Needless to say, I was a silent partner in the selection of the color and pattern.  As a matter of fact, one salesman asked me my opinion.  I replied, “I have no dog in this fight”.  He understood.
On the day of installation, the installer told me that he would have to remove the old toilet.  That was music to my ears because the old toilet had started to make threatening noises.  I could almost imagine that it was swearing at me.  A quick trip to Home Depot allowed the salesperson to talk Connie into buying an expensive model.  What the hell, its only money and I could still remember the threats emanating from the old stool.
  The new flooring and the new stool were installed without an incident.  The new commode stood grandly in the corner of the bath. The new stool, one of those low water use models sounds very aggressive in action.  At least it is not swearing at me.  I had my revenge on the old stool.  I laughed at it as it lay forlornly on its side at the curb waiting for the trash man to take it on its final journey.  Let it swear at the trash man.  He would probably kick it in the bowl.
  The new stool had one difference in construction as compared to the old stool that I noticed immediately.  The seat opening was about 1 ½” to 2” narrower than was the old seat.  Precision alignment was critical when placing one’s gluteus maximus in the correct position for action.  This was only a minor problem until late at night a trip to the bathroom was required. I was made painfully aware of an old law of physics. That holds true to this day.  “Force is equal to the mass of an object multiplied by its acceleration”. Due to the Incorrect alignment of my right cheek and the toilet seat I can attest to its validity. My right testicle was trapped in the middle of the two aforementioned objects.   This brings to mind another of Newtons laws.  “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction”.  Newton ignored the additional hopping, jumping, swearing, and the action of rendering one instantly awake in his law.
  Being trapped at home due to a complete shutdown brings out the worst in us.

Sunday, March 22, 2020

Chinese virus and Walmart

I have been cooped up for over a week due to a self-imposed exile caused by the Chinese virus.  That has given my creative mind (some say warped) a chance to tell a true story.  ------- Honest.  I felt the need to get out in the world and see if anything had changed.  I went to the local Walmart to pick up a can of shaving cream.  As I entered the aisle where the shaving cream was located, I noticed a large throng of people milling around at the other end of the aisle.  I asked a reliable source, the stranger standing next to me, what in the world was going on.  He informed me that there was a “run” on condoms and people were stocking up for the “duration”
That seemed a bit strange to me and asked if he had any more information.  He said that he had heard from a good friend of his cousin that there would soon be a shortage of condoms because of a lack of the raw material for the manufacture of condoms, latex.  Naturally I pressed him for more information.  He said that rubber gloves used in hospitals would cause diversion of the latex stocks to the glove making process.  As soon as the warehouse supply of condoms was exhausted, there would be none manufactured for the foreseeable future.
 That sort of bothered me because the small (pun intended) condom maker would be put out of business whereas the large manufacturer (another pun) would be able to weather the storm.  I could see the need for a bailout for the small guy in the future.
I then turned my attention of the “shoppers”.  It was a mixed group of young, middle aged, and even one grandmotherly woman with a large handbag.  She was swinging her bag randomly and knocking other condom shoppers out of the way. She emerged from the crowd happily carrying a package of Trojans and her handbag in tatters.  My own curiosity and at the urging of my newfound friend, I asked her why she needed the Trojans. She said that she had heard her unmarried granddaughter say that Trojans were the best and that she used them all the time.  She thought the Trojans would make a good Christmas stocking stuffer.  I had to agree with her.  It would probably surprise everyone.
My newfound friend opined that all might not be as bleak as it first appeared.  There were likely to be “accidents” along the way.  This would provide 5 to 6 months of worry-free spare time.  After that time the small manufacturer might be back in business.
With the condom problem solved I headed for the checkout counter to pay for my shaving cream (Burma shave) and then be on my way out. Then I passed the lingerie display.  Then it hit me. There was also a shortage in face masks.  I quickly realized that a 38 D cup when twisted would serve as a perfect double filter face mask.  It could also “lift and separate”.
Time to go home and solve some other problems facing mankind.

Tuesday, March 17, 2020

LIFE IN A ONE ROOM COUNTRY SCHOOL

In the 1940s and early 1950s (till 1956) Kids in Butler Township, DeKalb County attended one room country schools.  A few years prior to the “consolidation” described below , three country schools in the twp. were closed.  This closure could have been due to the looming onset of WW2 in order to conserve resources.  One of the schools was “Five Points” which was just west of the Holiday Lakes community.  The other schools were on (I think) what now county road 68 somewhere east and west of Five Points.  This closure would have been about 1939 or 1940. Until 1944 all 8 grades were then housed in three remaining schools.  No child was required to walk more than 1 mile to school in the old 6 school setup.  A worn out Ford bus served the Twp. with the 3 school setup transporting students from outlying areas to the three remaining schools.  In the fall of 1944 the grades were split as follows:  Grades 1 and 2 attended Butler Center School.  Grades 3, 4, & 5 attended Hogue School; Grades 6, 7, & 8 attended St. Johns School.  A new bus was added that year to serve a slowly growing student population.  A few years prior to the “consolidation” three other country schools in the twp. were closed.   Buses were then provided due to the longer distance to school. The schools started to be phased out in the fall of 1956 with the construction of the J.E. Ober School in Garrett.  The GKB (Garrett, Keyser Twp., and Butler Twp.) school corp. now included the Butler Twp. Schools.
The schools were somewhat different in architectural structure.  The Butler Center School was the showcase school of the Twp.  It sported a bell tower and a closed off cloak room as well as two coal fired heating stoves and a glass façade on the cloak room.  It also had an inside wood bin.  Water was obtained from an outside well at the Heitz farm across the road.  There were no washing facilities at any of the schools.  Toilets were of the outside variety on all three schools. Drinking water was stored in an earthen ware container.  Students furnished their own drinking cups. (Sometimes) Each school had an outside wood shed that was used to store coal.  It was a real treat to be “allowed” to get a fresh bucket of coal for the stove.  The teacher sometimes acted as janitor, custodian, and stove fireman.  Every fall there would be a fresh coat of linseed oil applied to the wooden floors.  Every fall around Halloween neighborhood ruffians would upset the outdoor privies.  Several local farmers and the Township trustee would get them back in place.  If we were lucky it only happened once a year.  Each time a privy was upset it never quite gained back its former glory.
Hogue School was a simple one room school building with no adornments.  I think this was due to what the neighbors were willing and able to afford.  Water was obtained from an outside well.
St. John’s School was much like the Hogue School except it had a bell tower and a small cloak room.  Each of the buildings had four bare light bulbs suspended from cords on the ceiling.  These were obvious additions as the schools were all built before the turn of the century.  Fire protection was in the form of a leaking brass “fyr-fighter” extinguisher that was slightly larger than a thermos bottle.  The leak caused the floor under the extinguisher to deteriorate. Windows were single pane with no storm windows.  It was unwise to sit next to one in the winter but great in the spring and fall when they were opened.  All of these buildings are still standing but are in great disrepair. 
One thing that puzzled me for many years was the fact that some students would disappear in March and others magically appear in their place.  Years later I found the reason was that their fathers were tenant farmers and they had signed contracts to rent and farm land in March.  I think the reason was so they could get the oats planted in order to feed the horses.  Yes, horses were still used in farming because there were no tractors being built during the war plus the fact that the nation was just emerging from the great depression of the thirties.  The horses that our neighbor owned were named “Battle Axe” and “War Department”.  The school year was only eight months long.  The reason for the short year was that it allowed the farm kids to be free from school in order to get the spring plowing and planting done.  The harvest in the fall could proceed at a slower pace so that no time off was required.  In some cases certain kids were allowed time off if it was known that conditions warranted an absence.
There was a morning and an afternoon recess.  It was supposed to be 15 minutes long but if it was a really nice day it could stretch into an hour.  No one seemed to notice.  Lunch time seemed to be whatever time the teacher deemed necessary.  The boys usually played “crossout” softball.  I have no idea what the girls did.  Who liked girls??  In the winter time we could go downhill sledding if there was sufficient snow.  We used to trek over to “Burniston’s hill” for sledding.  We were allowed to take our sleds to school on the bus.  Can you imagine that today?  After a tough afternoon of sledding the boys would sit around the coal stove with their feet on the stove to dry out their shoes.  There was a large ash pile out in back of the school as a result of years of coal fires.  This ash pile was used by the smaller kids to play “king on the mountain”.
The special needs kids were schooled right along with the rest of us.  We thought nothing about it except that we knew they were not very smart.  The teachers wisely passed them along knowing they would pick up something along the way.  There were eleven kids in my third grade class.  Two were special needs and another was autistic. (No one understood what autism was at that time).  He was just considered to be “dumb”.  These kids usually dropped out of school at age 16 but were still in grade school.
We also had culture!!  Once every two weeks we had a music teacher that would come for two hours in the afternoon.  One time she tried to teach us to dance.  I had worn my rubber knee boots that day.  It was a long afternoon.  I think the music teacher learned a lesson that day too. We had an annual Christmas program and once in a while an actual talent show. Twice a year we had an afternoon movie program.  It usually contained a health movie plus a cartoon, usually a woody woodpecker or Donald duck cartoon.  After the war we had a photographer visit once a year to take a group picture of all the kids and the teacher.  I remember the cloak that he would place over his head and camera when he would snap the picture.  There were absolutely no after school activities because most kids had after school chores to perform at home on the farm.
There was also discipline in our society.  Such a crime as whispering would draw a strict reprimand from the teacher.  A violation of the “no gum chewing” code would result in the culprit having to place the gum on his or her nose.  If there was a very serious breach of etiquette, corporal punishment might be administered with a ping-pong paddle.  This was an extreme measure.  My wife relates that the usual punishment in her school was getting a whack on the knuckles with a foot long ruler administered by the teacher.  One thing that seemed to slip by the “authorities” was the carving of initials on desktops and seats.  It seemed like every surface was marked in one way or another.  Almost all boys carried pocket knives. Wrestling bouts were common among the boys but fist fights were not.  These matches served to create a pecking order among students.
We studied math, English grammar, history and/or geography, spelling, and reading.  With three grades and five subjects it was almost impossible for the teacher to get through the entire list of subjects in one day. She took her time and covered a subject before she proceeded to the next.  There was more time allotted to 4th grade long division and fractions than 3rd grade “carrying” addition.  This allowed for at least 2/3 of our day allocated to study.  We had no excuse for not being prepared.  Many times, if our preparation for our own class was complete, we “listened in” on one of the other grades to see what was going on.  It was really what amounted to learning at your own pace.  By the time you got to that class one or two years later you had already developed an understanding of the subject. On one occasion I remember the eighth grade was having such a good time reading a play in reading class that the 6th and 7th grades joined in the fun.  I think that dispels the idea of us being backward country hicks.  We were, in fact, light years ahead of the curve in our learning process. I personally spent a large amount of time reading the different books in the set of the schools encyclopedias.  I can still spell Czechoslovakia without even having to stop and think about it.  One real problem was that we learned to read by “rote “and recognize whole words.  To this day I still have trouble in sounding out words in order to spell them.  Vowels are a real problem.  I mix “I” and “E” and “A” and “E”
In the spring the Ag Teacher and the principal from Garrett High School would visit our school to sign the 8th graders up for high school.  The boys were always signed up for agriculture and the girls always signed up for Home econ.  No exceptions allowed.  Fortunately, once in High School, it was possible to switch to something that was more in line with the student’s likes and abilities.
All in all, it was a much simpler era in which we kids enjoyed much more freedom than students experience today.  We did not suffer,however, from a lack of knowledge.  Many of the country kids ended up as successful businessmen, Engineers, skilled tradesmen, Teachers, Nurses and other professions beneficial to society.   One of my close friends even ended up working on the space program as an optics scientist .                            

Saturday, February 22, 2020

Biased newspaper


I am a snowbird that arrived back in Naples Florida  on Nov 10th, 2019. I scan the newspaper every day and have yet to find EVEN ONE ARTICLE THAT COMPLIMENTS TRUMP. There have been few to none articles about the roaring economy, the low unemployment rate, good trade deals with Canada, Mexico and China. The soaring stock market has been ignored. Yet you have managed to have an anti-Trump “cartoon” on the opinion page EVERY DAY since November.  The few letters to the editor you print are usually anti-Trump tirades.  Those of us that support Trump and usually write positive letters about politics are just sitting back shaking our heads in disbelief. 
If you are losing circulation, don't blame it on electronic media. Look no further than your crummy newsroom and very radical left-wing political bias.   You just had an article about losing your new printing press just after having moved to new quarters.  If you continue to insult 50% of your subscribers, you will soon lose the new building as well and have to move back to smaller quarters.  There is no excuse for the city of Naples and Collier County not having a decent daily paper.  On a positive note the crossword puzzle has not as yet been politicized but I won’t hold my breath.

Friday, February 14, 2020

Early Contraception

I am in the process of reading a book titled “The Book of Amazing History”.  Most subjects are only a page or two long.  I found that you can skip over some of the things that already stored in one or two brain cells in a forgotten area of your brain.
The most interesting article so far is the one on “early contraception”.  Stick with me and you might find something of value.  (but I doubt it)
In ancient Greece, women not wishing to have children were instructed to jump backwards seven times to avoid pregnancy.  I cannot vouch for the results of such a practice but would think it a bit dangerous if you were having sex on the side of a cliff.
Ancient Roman women were advised to carry a pouch on their left foot that contained a cat’s liver.  An alternative was to spit in the mouth of a frog. This practice could result in a shortage of cats and defiantly would not work in the more arid areas of the empire.
Barrier methods have included pebbles, half a lemon, and dried elephant or crocodile dung.  No information was given on the exact method of (or location of) the use of this practice.
The following is a direct quote. “In 1550 B.C., a suggested concoction of ground dates, Acicia tree bark, and honey (applied locally) was probably fairly effective, since acacia ferments into lactic acid, which disrupts a normal a pH balance”.  I wonder how long this mixture would have to be kept in place before fermentation took effect.   
In eastern Canada one aboriginal group believed that women drinking tea containing beaver testicles prevented Pregnancy.  If the tribe was especially horny this could lead to a shortage of beavers and an increase in the population.  This would directly affect the fur trade.  All beavers beware
As early as the seventh century B.C. a certain fennel plant was found to be extremely effective to prevent pregnancy.  It was a morning after “pill”.  It only grew in a small area in lybia and is now extinct.  Attempts to re-create it have been unsuccessful.
Men have always used a form of condom dating back as far as 1000 B.C.  Animal intestines were a favorite material.  No information was given on the number of times this “condom” could be reused.  It is my belief that men in the middle east found that leaving the goat or sheep alive allowed for a more efficient use of the intestine.  This, in turn, allowed for an increase in goat population and a healthy increase in providing more milk for the general population.   This practice of leaving the goat alive, however, is still in use in some areas of the middle east.  The introduction of the rubber condom in 1844 also helped the goat population to increase.
The introduction of “the pill” in 1960 made things a lot easier for woman.  The “sheath” remains the favorite method used by men.

Tuesday, February 11, 2020

New carpet in the living room

New carpet for the living room

Connie decided that we needed new carpet for the living room.  After agonizing over the color and design she finally made her decision.  The salesman asked me what I thought about the carpet.  I told him, “I have no dog in this fight”.  I think he understood.
  We scheduled an appointment for a fellow to come and take the carpet measurements. I tried to tell the salesman the room was 12’ X 20”.  He paid no attention to me and scheduled an appointment for the measurement.  The fellow doing the   measurements arrived within 10 minutes of the appointed time of 12:30 and apologized for being late.  What??  My only concern that he did not have a tape measure or clip board.  Silly me.
  The guy had only an I-Pad.  I decided that I had better stick around just in case he needed any consultation or supervision.  The first thing he did was to take a picture of every stick of furniture in the living room.  Of course, I asked why he needed pictures.  I had visions of a gang of robbers breaking in and stealing our expensive Walmart furniture.  He told me that he needed that in order to tell the installer how many people he needed to move the furniture out of the way for the installer.  OH.
  Then he placed the I-pad against the 20’ wall and shot a laser at the other end of the wall.  Then he did the same with the 12’ wall.  Then he shot a beam along the hypotenuse of both corners.  I know from woodworking that if those dimensions are within 1/16” the item is perfectly square.  No, I did not bother to ask.  I had figured out by now that he knew what he was doing.  He even measured the size and location of the AC registers.
  Then he showed me a computer layout of the room.  It had the size and shape of every piece of furniture plus their exact location in the room.  The dimensions of everything in the room were within a few mm of the exact size.  It even had the estimated weight of each item.  By then I figured out that he had the situation under control.
  My last question was how long it would take for the carpet to be cut locally.  He said that they sent the computer file to a company in Michigan where the carpet was cut using the computer layout.  It was cut there and then shipped by truck back to Naples.  He had no control of the lag time.  He told me that the carpet would be rolled in the 12’ direction to minimize the space used in the truck.  The tack strips would be cut to length and rolled up inside the carpet roll.  The threshold strip between the kitchen and living room was cut to the exact length and the difference between the carpet-hardwood floor was determined to get the exact threshold pattern.
  When he left Connie asked him how many floors he had measured today.  He said that he had completed seven and had one more to go and then he would hit his pool.  We live in a pretty advanced world.