School days
Today children we are going to have a combination Science and
Composition class. We will study the
invasion of the nine banded armadillo and then write about what we
learned. This normally shy nocturnal
creature has expanded its range from Florida as far north to just south of
Nashville, Tn. This is due to warmer
weather (climate change bull crap coming at you) that has come upon us. We are seeing many many of these poor
unfortunate creatures lying at the side of the road along I-65, dead as
doornails. This is because they try to
cross the road at night. (Don’t ask me, ask the chicken). I want you children to imagine the following
scenario:
A couple and their children have been driving for 12 hours to
get the children to a gulf beach for spring break and both are very tired. All of a sudden there is a loud THUMP and the
man almost loses control of the car. The
following conversation ensues: HE. What the XXXX was that? SHE.
You just ran over a XXXXing armadillo.
HE. A XXXXing what? SHE.
You heard me, a XXXXing armadillo.
HE. What is a XXXXing armadillo
doing in Tennessee? SHE. Don’t ask me, it must be XXXXing climate
change. HE. XXXX you and the climate change armadillo you
rode in on. “Needless to say, children,
he slept that night with his pajama bottoms on.” Your assignment is to add to the above
exchange and express your opinions as to how we can eliminate climate change in
order to save the armadillo. Your essays
are due the day after tomorrow.
