Obama Speak

Obama Speak

As one that has had extensive experience in analyzing Methods and work measurements in minute detail, I feel fully qualified to describe the method in which the President would deliver the nursery rhyme, MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB.  Please bear with me and I shall go through the delivery step by step.

First, he would raise his chin and look 30 degrees to the right and purse his lips.  He would then pause for a half second and say in measured tones, “MARY HAD”

He would turn his head 60 degrees to the left, lower his chin and raise his eyes.  He would then speak in a slightly faster tone, “A LITTLE LAMB”.  The word LAMB would be delivered with an immediate halt with the chin moved to a neutral position.

 He would then drop his chin a bit further and turn back to the right.  Raising his arm 90 degrees from the elbow, he would point his finger out in space; shake the finger vigorously; raise his chin, and shout, “AND EVERYWHERE THAT MARY WENT”.

He would then evoke a slightly longer pause and lower his chin again and turn his head back 60 degrees to the left and say, “THE LAMB WAS SURE”.  This would be followed by and abrupt halt in speaking.

He would then turn back 60 degrees to the right; look straight ahead and say in a hushed tone, “TO GO”.  This would be followed by a further lowering of the chin and another pursing of the lips.

At this time the audience would cheer wildly and the president would smile a toothy smile.  I must warn you that if you attempt to duplicate the president’s speech pattern, you must be cautious to keep the head turns in order.  Failure may result in your breaking your neck.

I did not forget IT'S FLEECE WAS WHITE AS SNOW.  This blog is politically correct.

With tongue firmly in cheek, Your faithful observer, Dal

Crossing the Mississippi

Mississippi River

I watched a program recently about the Mississippi river on the National Geographic Channel.  The first thing it showed was the headwaters of the river.  That amounted to a lake spillway in Minnesota.  There were rocks placed across the spillway and people were actually walking on the rocks to cross the river.

That reminded me of the time I almost walked across the Mississippi.

In early April 1961 I was on my way home from Ft. Bliss, Texas on the Santa Fe railroad.  (Air planes hadn’t been invented yet).  Connie and I were getting married on the 22ed and I was anxious to get home.

The conductor came through the coach and announced there would be a 15 minute stop at DAVENPORT, IOWA.  The train slowed to a halt and I got out to stretch my legs.  I was in the depot about three minutes later when I saw the train start to depart.  What the heck, it had not been fifteen minutes!!  I ran out of the depot and started to chase the train down the track.  It was almost like Dagwood Bumstead chasing the early morning trolley to work.  I was yelling, “stop you %$#&*, stop!”  It didn’t stop.  It is just plain amazing how fast a passenger train can accelerate.

After I gave up chasing the train, I heard someone behind me shouting, “We can catch them”.  It was a cab driver.  He explained that the train also stopped a few miles outside of Davenport for a few minutes.  Why, I didn’t ask.  He offered to take me across the river in his cab for the meager sum of $10. (1961 dollars).  Who was I to decline the offer?  We sped across the Mississippi River to ROCK ISLAND ILLNOIS on the other side of the Mississippi River.  We made it to the depot in Rock Island in plenty of time because the train was occupied in its stop in DAVENPORT, IOWA.   It certainly gives you a lesson in geography.

I boarded the train, found my seat, and didn’t get out of that seat till we got to Chicago.  I wonder how many times that cab driver made the same trip across the Mississippi.  True story.