The following all took place in the summer of 1944. The weather was warm, so it must have been
shortly after D-Day, June 6, 1944 because I was aware that we were fighting the
Germans in Europe. I was six years old
and had not as yet started school, so my vocabulary was limited. I had never heard of the words, “testicles”, “gonads”,
or “scrotum”. I had not yet started to
associate with the older boys, so I was not even familiar with the words “nuts”
or “balls”. I was aware of that useless
fold of skin between my legs just below my “wee-wee”. It was called a “bag”. Now that we have the groundwork laid out I
will proceed.
I was helping my dad build a feeding station in the
barnyard. It was constructed from
shiplap and 2 X 4s. He was using a hand
saw to cut the 2 X 4s so there were several short pieces laying around on the
ground.
I told my dad that I knew how to end the war. I said that we could take short pieces of 2 X
4s and nail the Germans soldiers “bag” to the piece of wood. Dad gave me a long look and did not say
anything for a moment. I think he must
have been trying to decide if I was a sadistic little son-of-a-bitch or if I
was a deep-thinking moron-genius ahead of my time. He finally said, “yes son, I would guess that
would take the fight out of them”. I was
really proud to have figured out how to end the war.
Perhaps that was just an early sign that I was meant to be an
engineer.
