Sharron and Bill's first date

First Date-Sis & Bill

At the 50^th wedding anniversary party and wedding reception hosted by Sharron and Bill at Pigeon Forge two years ago, Sharron related what happened on their first date.  According to Sis, they went to Buck Lake Ranch (a well known honky tonk).  Bill was supposedly so excited by her charm and grace that he steered her right through a mud puddle.  Sis said that Bill took her shoes home and polished them and then gave them back ON THE SECOND DATE.  That brings to mind several questions.  1.  Did he take the shoes home just to have a ready excuse to come back?  2.  What did she wear home if she had no shoes?  3.  What was he doing with white shoe polish at home?   Was he just a little bit (ahem) ,you know?

Get ready to hear the real truth as told by Dal.  I was there when Sis tried to sneak home that night through the back door, with muddy shoes in hand.  Dad was asleep in his easy chair as was his custom when Sis was out on one of her many dates.  He woke up when she stumbled on the door sill.  The following conversation took place.           (I won’t use quotes because I have no intention of making this saga grammatically correct)

Dad:  Dear daughter, what happened to you?  Your shoes are all muddy and your beautiful hair is messed up.

Sis:  Oh dear father, my date chased me through a muddy corn field.  I feared for my maidenhood but I found that a girl can run faster with her dress up than a boy can with his pants down!!!

Dad:  What!!!  Wait till I get my shotgun.  I will take care of that little twerp.  I will shoot him in the butt.

Sis:  Oh wait father dear.  Do not be hasty.  This may have a happy ending after all.

Dad:  What do you mean dear daughter.

Sis:  I think that if I play my cards right.  I might be able to snag the little booger.  He ain’t too bright and God knows he ain’t good looking, but I hear he is a good worker.  If I can snag him and nag him to death, I think that I can get him to work four different jobs at the same time.  If so, I will have it on EZ-street for the next 50 years

Dad:  Hmmm dear daughter, I think that is a good plan.  After all, you are 16 and ain’t getting any younger.  I think you should go for it.

Now, being a young man of sterling honor, I did the only just thing possible.  (Warn Bill?  You gotta be kidding).  I ran off and joined the Army because I did not wish to be in any way connected with such a dastardly plot!!  While on a Nike missile site in Chicago several months later, defending my country, I received notice that a wedding had taken place between the parties mentioned above.

Fortunately, all has ended well.  Sis and Bill have been married for over 50 years and have given the world four well adjusted children and Steve, the Bean King of Tennessee.

Dal