Wow!!! The state of Florida has come up with a doozy of a solution that will solve many problems and save time and money in the long run.
As you may know, there is a real problem in the Everglades with the booming population of Burmese Pythons. When they get too big people that have them as “pets” (ugg) just turn them loose. They have no natural enemies and so breed like rabbits. It is not uncommon to find a 10’ python in your back yard. They love to snack on cats and dogs
Anyway, I digress. The county plans to hire many of the illegal’s to work as “snake catchers”. They will be supervised by the local swamp experts. They plan to hire the aliens to work as decoys to attract the snakes. They are to be paid $9.50 per hour plus a bonus if the python caught is over 12’ long. In order to maximize the effectiveness of the decoy, they will attach a log chain and large cement ball to the decoys leg. This is to keep the alien from making any evasive movements as the snake advances to inspect the potential meal.
The swamp expert will make hourly rounds to check on the decoys under his charge. If he finds the alien gone, he will immediately look for a slow moving python with a large round bulge in his (or her) midsection. Upon finding a likely reptile the swamp expert will use a magnet to check and see if the log chain is present inside the snake. If so, he will then dispose of the snake and retrieve the ball and chain for future use with the next decoy. If the chain is not present, he will run like hell. The decoy used will end up as python poop. This eliminates any need for deportation. In addition, the decoy is not paid this (or her) hourly wage or any possible bonus. He (or she) is also removed from the welfare rolls.
Any alien too smart to fall for the scheme will beat a hasty path to the border. It is a win-win situation for the county and state.
Dal
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