My First Kiss

Dal’s First Kiss.

In order to set this “distortion of the truth” in the correct format, it is necessary to give a background setting first.   In high school I was considered a “nerdy farmer”.   After a year I was upgraded to “pond scum”.  Such a rise in status is not to be taken lightly.

Between my sophomore and junior years I worked on new home construction (75 cents/hr).  I learned to pound a nail or two and use a new invention called a “skilsaw”.  These skills served me well when it came time for the junior – senior prom late in the year.  The “committee” wanted to have several things made.  One was a façade surrounding a basket ball backboard that was supposed to mimic the roman Coliseum.  No sweat, I constructed a wall complete with crumbled portions of the outer wall.  I also built a four foot diameter spherical ball, covered with chicken wire that served as a piñata.  This work elevated my status to “hero”.  I became known as a guy that would do all the grunt work while others claimed the credit.

My elevation to “hero” status granted me permission to attend some of the upper crust functions and parties held after school in private homes.  These functions continued after graduation since none of the upper crust wished to be downgraded to “common citizen” after so many years of “fame and fortune” while in high school.

At times we played really adult games like “spin the bottle”.  What fun.  Then one time the bottle stopped in front of me.  I was dumbstruck because I had never kissed a girl before.  What to do??  What made the situation worse was the fact that the “kissee” was Pat Lacroix, possibly the prettiest girl in the class.  I, as the “kisser” had no choice but to carry through.  Agony cannot describe my feelings.  Quick as a flash, I decided that my only option was to act as though it was old hat.  After all, I had seen enough movies to know how the hero accomplished the task.  I grabbed Pat, bent her back, and planted a big kiss on her lips, AND DID NOT LET GO. Hoots, laughter, and applause erupted.  When I finally let her go, she looked at me and said, “Wow”.  (I guess that I must have done it right).  I went back and seated myself on the floor, rubbed my hands together and said, “Let’s do it again”.  Some people might not remember their first kiss.  I assure you that when it is accompanied by sheer terror, you can never forget it.

Dal