Breakfast at the white house

The following is a letter to the editor of the Naples daily News 3-34-2011 by Chuck Smith Good morning Mr. President, what would you like for breakfast? Not sure, Michelle. Check the polls and see what people are eating. Sir, 28 percent are having pancakes; 15 percent are eating eggs. What about the other 50 percent? What are they eating? Oh sir, those are Republicans; they always get to work before breakfast. Well, OK. Get hold of Congress and see what they are eating. Sir, the House is having lean beef, and the Senate is having crow again today. Not crow! I’m getting tired of the same thing. Call the vice president. Sir, he’s not awake yet, but they tell me his eyes are open. Good grief! Call the joint chiefs of staff. They know about man food. I’ve got to have a few more opinions. But honey, you’ve already dithered away one hour. You’re right, Michelle. I’m the leader of the free world and I’ve decided to have a big bowl of Wheaties, breakfast of champions. Call the press secretary and arrange a 11 a.m. press conference. The nation deserves to know what their commander-in-chief has had for breakfast. Wonderful sir, will you be having fruit? Michelle, don’t even go there. — Chuck Smith

The following is my response to his letter. 

Chuck Smith’s Letter about Obama’s breakfast that appeared on 3-24 was correct as far as it went.  My unimpeachable sources tell me that he did have fruit for breakfast.  The conversation continued as follows.

But Barack, you know that fruit is an important part of my anti obesity program.

You are right Michelle but the fruit has to be green.  How about an avocado?

It is green Barack, but has too many calories, how about trying a green pineapple?

That sounds good Michelle, but it has to come from one of our 57 states.  Hawaii comes to mind.

OK, that is settled Barack, now you need just a bit of sweetener.  A small sprinkle of sugar would be OK.

Wonderful!!  We can get it from Cuba Michelle.  That will help us in the International field.  We can subsidize it too, to help the poor people.

One percent milk would help to round out the dish, but that might curdle in your stomach Barack.

No problem my dear.  We have free health care you know.

Wait, I have it, Barack!!  We can get the milk from Wisconsin.  That would show our union solidarity.

 What a wonderful idea Michelle.  Can I have an after breakfast mint too? 

Dal Wolf        Naples & Auburn, In