Virgin shortage

It is 86 degrees out today here in Naples, to hot to be out and about.  I decided to do some calculations on a question that has puzzled and vexed me for some time.  That problem concerns the number of available virgins to ISIS fighters if they get killed while slaying infidels.  Here are the numbers I came up with:

The population of Syria is 18.5 million.  The population of Iraq is 38 million.  That makes the total population 56.5 million between the two countries.  Let us assume that the population is evenly split between male and female.  That amounts to 28.25 million females between the two countries.  Now I must make an assumption that 1/3 of those females are 16 years old or younger.  (down to babes in arms).  That number would be 9.416 million girls.  Another assumption on my part is that 80% of those females are virgins.  (come up with a better percentage estimate if you wish).  That would lower the number 7.533 million available virgins.

Now things get a bit thornier.  The estimate of Isis fighters is 200,000 (Wikipedia).  If you divide 7.533 million virgins by 200,000 Isis fighters that means, there would only be 37.7 virgins available for each fighter should they all be slaughtered.  That means each fighter would get only slightly more than half of his allotted virgins.

The mullahs are aware of this problem an there is frantic activity to breed female goats to have female offspring.  Another possibility is to recycle used virgins.  Unfortunately this technology is still in the research stage.

THIS JUST IN.—Breaking news.  Anonymous sources have informed us that the Mullahs have partially solved the “virgin void” caused by so many Isis fighters having to claim the 72 virgins promised to them if they die fighting the infidels.  They have designated gay men as being “virgins”.  This partially solves the problem of fulfilling the promise of 72 virgins but also eliminates the problem of having to clean up the mess as a result of gay men being thrown off rooftops.  Progress in the recycling of used virgins is still ongoing as of this writing.