The armadillo

School days

Today children we are going to have a combination Science and Composition class.  We will study the invasion of the nine banded armadillo and then write about what we learned.  This normally shy nocturnal creature has expanded its range from Florida as far north to just south of Nashville, Tn.  This is due to warmer weather (climate change bull crap coming at you) that has come upon us.  We are seeing many many of these poor unfortunate creatures lying at the side of the road along I-65, dead as doornails.   This is because they try to cross the road at night. (Don’t ask me, ask the chicken).  I want you children to imagine the following scenario: 

A couple and their children have been driving for 12 hours to get the children to a gulf beach for spring break and both are very tired.  All of a sudden there is a loud THUMP and the man almost loses control of the car.  The following conversation ensues:  HE.  What the XXXX was that?  SHE.  You just ran over a XXXXing armadillo.  HE.  A XXXXing what?  SHE.  You heard me, a XXXXing armadillo.  HE.  What is a XXXXing armadillo doing in Tennessee?  SHE.  Don’t ask me, it must be XXXXing climate change.  HE.  XXXX you and the climate change armadillo you rode in on.  “Needless to say, children, he slept that night with his pajama bottoms on.”  Your assignment is to add to the above exchange and express your opinions as to how we can eliminate climate change in order to save the armadillo.  Your essays are due the day after tomorrow.