Ancient democrats

Early democrats

After a great amount of study and deep thought I have come to the conclusion that the ancient Jews were all democrats.  I Know, I know, you are thinking,”Dal just does not have enough to do”. Or “that Idiot is at it again”!!  The insults and barbs aside, I shall strive to prove my point.

Let us consider what led the early Jews to Egypt.  Things were pretty bad where they were and they were starving so they journeyed to Egypt to find if things were any better.  They approached the Pharaoh and asked for food.  The Pharaoh said, “well OK but you are going to have to work by helping build my tomb and  I will give you food stamps to take care of your hunger.  The Jews were starving so they agreed.  Everyone was happy.

Soon the Jews asked for free housing and rent subsidies.  The P-man said, “Well I guess that I can afford that”.  The Jews built what is called a GET-OH (in Egyptian).  All parties were satisfied until one of the Jews fell sick.  All chanted, “We want free health care”. “We want free health care”.  The P-man was a generous sort so he said, “OK, We can call it medieval care   this was soon changed because the Jews thought the term had a bad connation.  The evil sound was eliminated thus changing the term to Medicare.  And everyone was filled with joy.  Well almost everyone.

After a few (???) Generations the Jews forgot why they had come to Egypt in the first place and complained that they were being held hostage as slaves.  They were unhappy campers.  They felt the P-man had them work way too many hours and did not pay them any more for time that exceeded what they considered a normal amount.  They wanted “time over”.  This was soon changed to overtime.  The P-man agreed to pay the time over and everyone was happy.  Well almost.

As you know it is hot and dry in Egypt and air-conditioning had not been invented yet.  The only way to keep cool was to have someone fan you with a palm frond.  Each of the Jews wanted to be fanned by his own personal “fan man”.  The P-man refused saying it would bite into his tomb profits.  Everyone was unhappy.

The Jews countered by forming what ,in Egyptian, was called a Yoon-yan.   This organization was controlled by a Yoon-yan leeder        The Yoon-yan leeders main activity was to stir up trouble among the Jews.  He convinced the Jews that they wanted and needed extra benefits like time away from the tomb.  There were hard negotiations but the P-man gave in and allowed Va-ka-shuns.  This allowed them time to visit such attractions as the Sphinx and the Pyramids.  They were not able to go see the Aswan dam and Lake Nasser because they had not been built as yet.  Vacation time was controlled by the Yoon-yan-leeder.  This made some of the tomb builders, or May-suns unhappy.  They were called May-suns because they only wanted to work in the spring when it was cool, not the summer.

The Yoon-yan called for a Sick but soon realized if he called  an illegal sick the P-man would not allow them medieval care.  Before the word could be carved in stone, two letters were added in the middle and it thus became a Strick  This term changed over the millennium to become , as we know it today, a Strike  Now the P-man was unhappy.  He had had enough.  He was tired of the old chant, “Let my people go”, so he did.  He ran them out of town.   The Jews coined a term for this.  They called it an X-oh-dis The last syllable was meant to dis the P-man.

There was some talk about the P-mans guys getting drowned but my theory is that they just went for a swim with their horses.

There you have it, with tongue firmly in cheek, Dal’s version of history